So after several drafting in my heart, I finally decided to conform with the conscience of my true feeling. It's has been pestering me for quite a while and I seriously feel suffocated.
Describe me as mean or sinful. The thing i need for the moment is some sort of release and a sheer frankness to my own feeling. Sorry for treating my blog as a way to release what I can never say in the real life.
I am coward. But I have to say anyhow.
I mean at the first place I am willing to explain. But be reminded only until a certain extent can it be. I am willing to explain in a sense that I can explain certain things by giving the concept as a whole but not translating points by points and then feeeding them to you each by each. You have to undesrtand there are not always words or phrases in one language which are completely compatible to another language. For me understanding doesn not always come from literal or surface translation of the words, but the essence out of all the points.
I am really really having knack in translating and explaining them points by points. For once I nearly crack for scratching my head to find a suitable word to explain it and at the end i found myself talking nonsense. It's not that i dont understand the things but just sometimes my understanding depends very much on 'feel'. Be in my incapability or what, it's something that I could not tell in words. And perhaps you have to slowly grope for the 'feel'.
Yeah, there is no right or wrong. It's just some sort of discrepencies in our learning style. Therefore, that's all about suggestion but not criticism. Or can it be grouch as well. I know everyone has their own learning style which they feel comfortable with. But for many times i feel really hard to cope with yours. Not everytime does the dictionary help in giving us the exact expression we want because there is always correlation of the meaning of words with the context. So, it's unlikely for me to feed you with everything in Mandarin. I sincerely hope that i can explain it according to my style.
I am not looking down on you. I understand your situation but I feel sorry at the same time because it is not something that i could help. So dont overestimate me cause i am not as good as you imagine. I am still willing to help but I need a favour from you to corperate with me as well. Yeah, now you know why teaching can never be my profession.
Hooooooo.....tomorrow will it be another dreadful and intense day for me. I need more strength.
Ok, enough of lamenting, off to bed now.
See you!
