No next time please!

Stay focus and continue writing!

But, I COULDN'T because she threw my draft away. I mean how can you possibly write without an outline?

I shouldn't have pretended so generous and kept saying nevermind this afternoon thinking that i will be able to retrieve all the information from you.

But after i got her news, oh gosh, a lots of info were missing. I had jotted down nearly two full pages of A4. And i had interviewed some of the participants. By the way, i have to admit is a very cursory work with my very ugly and messy handwritting on it. I guess that's why she was unable to decipher my writing and thus she only converted 40% of the info into her news.

Now, my other 60 percent is missing. And worst still, nobody recoreded it down. Which means it's nearly impossible for me to retrieve all the info. I am seriously pek-ceking now cause i could not recall all the info and how can i write the news with so scant info in my hands now?

I remembered i'd reminded you to return the draft to me cos i havent written it out. And why dont you confirm with me before you threw it away? It's somehow my property, isn't it?

I know you are trying your heart out to compensate but the matter now is all my efforts have gone in vain. You understand?

lost part 2

I dislike the life I am having now.

ELS has made my life so difficult. They decided to have a meeting tomorrow morning at 10.30.

That's fine.

But people, do you know my class will only start at 3.30pm tomorrow? Ok, lets oughly estimate the meeting will take around 1 1/2hours. And so can you tell me where am i supposed to go and do in the more-than-3-hours' break? The meeting is always so impromptu that it has ruined my schedule, so as my monday morning.

And I dont know how to do the budget. I dont know how to use M.Excel. They are so complicated and most importantly, I-HATE-FIGURES. AGAIN, I need to stress that I wanna RESIGN. It's enough.

People, I just dont have extra time to spend on those budget, meeting, account, activities. Even if I have, i won't relish having to spend it on them. Clear?

Before this i was so damn excited when ELS was approved but now i can feel a hundred hatred towards it. Please, i enjoy being merely a student. I mean a mundane one.

This sem is seemingly a mess for me. I have no idea what is going wrong with me especially recently. I lost myself. I could not concentrate on my studies no matter how much i have endeavoured. My mind is blank. And procrastination has got me so well. I have 3 assignments due simultaneously on week 11, and tell you, I don't even have a clear concept on what should I do. So you know that I have started none. I dont know if it is a repercusion of indolence, homesickness and distraction. But i guess it should be.

Please serve me with some strengths and passions. I can bear it no more. I am going insane.

Really.