Homo sapien

Hooooooo…

I am physically and mentally drained.

I just don’t understand why people wanna make their life so difficult. They are seriously in lack of sequential organization where they don’t know more important matter should be conferred at first. The worst part is they almost have a spat on those not-so-important matters. I am really really sick of implying them to stop. You see, when something cannot be reached in consensus, there come the conflicts. So why don’t just tolerate? What is the point of being so insistent when it doesn’t concern any of your privileges? Is it so hard to feign a smile and say ‘yes’, ‘ok’, ‘I agree’, ‘not bad’?

These people are really peculiar and complicated. They like their life being burdened.

Probably I am not the responsible type. To be honest, disguise and hypocrisy is sometimes, NO, is MANY times, inevitable. I believe sometimes it is a way to survive and also protect yourself. For so many times you get an idea and is about to voice it out, you choke it back. The reason is rather simple, you do not want to offend anybody, you don’t want to see the disgruntled face in anyone of them and on the top of all, you don’t want to be boycotted or backstabbed.

I see no point of arguing. Because I still have a sense of respect. Subsequently, I will try not to say something which will pique or hurt others when I am in the group. Jokes are excluded of course. I mean those who express them in a very serious and real mode. Why do so when the consequences you get are only the adverse one?

And you can be really really frustrated and fed up when it does happen around you. What to do? You can only fake off a grin, agree with neither party and pretend like nothing ever happens.

The philosophy of socializing, you can neither acquire nor learn.

For me, at least.

1st day of Y2S3

First day of lecture, I'd already felt the stress, how?

I really could not imagine how am i gonna cope with the rest 14 weeks. I am seriously not in the mood to study. Especially in the super hot weather here.

I miss my home so much. Especially when CNY is around the corner.

I cant wait to go back for my CNY holidays, and I make holidays on my own, skipping 3 classes. Go back two days earlier. The reason is simple: I wanna feel the vibe of CNY in Segamat.

Countdown continued: 22 days left.

Something to Say

Ok, please dont kindly remind me how long did i not update.

I know i've been neglecting it. But i discover a weird phenomenon. I dont feel like blogging in my comfy home even i've got so many to tell.

I was at home when it's christmas and new year and i really wanna write something. Yes, my mind was drafting something but physically, i was mortionless. How sad!

Anyway, i am back now with my mind laden with so many different thoughts.

First of all, forget to tell that i am now in Kampar, that's why i am so motivated to blog now. But i don't see it as a good thing as i know it's merely a repercussion of being too bored.

I am just so reluctant to come back here. And homesickness becomes greater once i got down from the train.

Reality is always cruel.

I almost burst into tears thinking of every single moment I spent in my house. Lying on the couch, watching tv shows, reading newsapaper, visiting my relatives. You see how minute things can make me so emo.

And not to forget the enjoyable moment when I travelled to Singapore with my mum, shopped with my mum, dined with my family. All the time that spent with family is truly precious and the feeling is literally indescripable.

I went through my hardest moment in the last few months of 2009. I was strcuk with giddyness for two consecutive times in one month which made me almost could not attend for the MLE exam. Half month later, my brother was admitted to hospital due to dengue fever. I felt so helpless at that moment where i could only pray to repel the dread in my heart.

I guess the incidents are enough to make me appreciate the bond of family. And therefore, my utmost new year resolution would be me myself and everyone around me to bless with good health. You dont know how phobia i am towards medicines, doctors, clinic and hospital.

This semester break had given me so many things. Regardless the happy or the sad one.  I began to be less attentive to the thing which is less important. Yet i must be very careful of the fine line between giving up and giving less priority.

Tomorrow will i start my new semester. Apparently i am not in the mood yet. Homesickness still gets the best part of me. It's so miserable.

Nevermind, maybe i can start counting down for the CNY holidays and i'll get a lot better.

Last but no least, have a healthy new year ahead, people!

till then, see you!